Coaching Center of Vermont Blog

By Kim DuBrul

Waiting for the harvest takes patience! As we near the end of summer we enter a time of waiting. Waiting for new things to start. Waiting until the time is just right to harvest. Whether we are talking about actual crops, or a big idea to come to fruition, or a promotion, or getting results in an area we have been working in, or forming a relationship, or… (I could go on..),  if we decide to come face to face with the virtue of patience, we can make the process a lot less painful!

I encourage you to explore this word, patience, and how it might strengthen you in this time.  Though it’s opposite choice, “impatience” immediately evoked anxiety and unrestful feelings in me, I got curious about the specific meaning of the word “patience.”   This came about working with several clients in a short period of time who were all working with some level of patience and/or impatience.  I looked up the definition in my dictionary with each one — I had to read it word for word each time as it was so surprisingly powerful that I didn’t want to mess up the words!  Here’s what I found:  patience:  the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain without complaint, loss of temper or anger.  An ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance  when confronted with delay.  Quiet,  steady perseverance; even tempered care; diligence. Whew!  My clients and I were in each case blown away by the impact of those words.  So,  if when you are being impatient you are being the opposite of those things,  how is this effecting your outcome, and in many cases actually delaying the outcome you are wishing for and waiting for?

So, my advice this lazy summer month — yes, someone somewhere along the way called this month lazy in a positive way — see how you can cut yourself, others and projects a tiny bit of slack.  Notice how giving some space around things and your expectations can usher in some new and profound thoughts. Visualize yourself taking a deep breath and just relaxing…okay, now actually do it!  Enjoy the virtue of patience and all the peace that it can bring to your life in every area.

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Kim DuBrul has been coaching successful people in their lives, both personal and business, for over 8 years.  She also helps athletes to put a stronger mindset to work for them that can take them to the next level.  She works with individuals, groups, and emcees for events with the bottom line  intention always being that everyone realizes their greatest potential and increases the enjoyment they have in their lives.

By Glen McClintock

Freedom – what a concept!  People have longed for it, died for it. Freedom to love who you want, to be who you are, to vote, to be a fully respected member of your community. Freedom from persecution. Freedom to be all you can be. When you begin to open yourself to life’s possibilities, you also free yourself to be who you really are. I like to call this journey of self discovery your Heart’s Adventure.

So, is freedom just another word for nothing left to lose, or are you free to live a life of abundance? Do you define freedom in your head or do you experience it in your heart? Do you really know what it feels like to be free? And, given the opportunity, do you allow yourself to experience it? Have you taken the time to listen to your heart?

These are all personal questions that we’re left to answer on our own. The truth is that one person’s idea of freedom may be another person’s jail cell. Are we free to practice our religious beliefs or are we shackled by our chosen ideology? Are we free to express our individuality, or does this expression ultimately follow the cultural norms of just one of many subcultures. We are constantly struggling to understand our world and our place in it, but how do we know when we’re operating “outside of the box” or just stepping into another box we have yet to define?

We may think of freedom as a goal that once attained is never lost (e.g. civil or legal rights), but when it comes to our own personal journeys, our heart’s adventure, we see that freedom is more a state of mind. And it can be easy to lose focus as we travel the rocky roads of life’s adventure.

So if the journey to freedom in your life is a process of self discovery — your heart’s adventure — where do you start? And how do you know when you get “there?” While the journey, as Dorothy discovered in the Wizard of Oz, may be fraught with fear and excitement, your heart’s desire and the freedom that you seek may ultimately be closer than you think.

If simply clicking your heels does not get you where you want to be, there are things that you can do to prepare for the journey.  First, there may be things you need to let go of, to lighten your load – to move more freely and gain additional perspective. Second, once you’ve lightened your load, what do you have to reinforce you, to nourish you and give you energy to face life’s difficulties and continue on your journey?
Read the rest of this entry »

By Kim DuBrul

We’ve all heard it. One of the hottest topics in the spiritual/self development world today is how to live in the present moment. Some unsettling events in my own life really got me thinking about how important this is. Realizing that I have a choice in how I spend my moments — big or little — is a freedom that I cannot overlook.

I began to recognize that when I am present in the moment, I grant myself freedom from many unsupportive and unproductive things such as worry, anxious thoughts, and just plain old wasted time and energy spent thinking about things that never happen, or things that did happen, but only in my own mind!

Even more important than freedom from my busy mind were the additional freedoms I gained by being conscious in the moment, and fully engaged in whatever task I was involved in; freedoms that far outweighed the freedom from my anxious thoughts. Freedoms such as:

• happiness, plain and simple!
• true connection with my intuition and inner world
• true connection with others
• freedom from wasted time and energy
• focused learning (leading me to faster results)

Now, just knowing didn’t make it any easier. Old habits take time to change. I know this is a process, and I set out to do my best each day with a simple practice. I simply began to ask myself some questions to re-center on the present.

The process is very personal. What works, varies.  As a coach, I work with my clients to help them figure out what tools work best for them in pursuit of living consciously. We look for clues by exploring their values and examining the areas of their life where they are not seeing the peacefulness they desire. And conducting an experiment can help.

So with that in mind, when you find yourself dwelling in the past or in the “what ifs” of the future, try my questions and observe how they work for you:

• What can I do right now in the present that can help me to assure the outcome I want?
• How am I making this person who is important to me feel? Am I giving my full attention? What message am I sending?
• Since I am spending my precious time in this moment doing this particular thing, (ie: I have made a choice to do it) how can I enjoy it?
• Is it really a problem right this minute?
• Do I have any proof that what I am thinking is true and absolute?

I also find that by writing out a list of all the important things that I need to/want to do, I release myself from the worry of forgetting to do something! That allows me to be more focused on my current project or interaction.

Here’s to your freedom to show up in the present for your own life, and all the joy that will bring you!  Recognize for yourself that this freedom cannot be taken from you by anyone, except yourself.

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Kim DuBrul GPC, APC has been joyfully coaching her clients to reach their goals for 8 years.  She intends each day to live in the moment as much as possible and thanks her children for keeping her on her toes!

By Laura Lind-Blum

It was a Tuesday morning in May, and the ezine was on the agenda at the weekly Coaching Center Coaches meeting. The task: come up with an organizing theme for June.

Since we’ve been following a gardening and growth theme over the last few months, we started musing . . . perhaps something around being active and fully participating — you know really full on, no holds barred, can’t-contain-myself-dancing-exuberance.

Lea caught the enthusiasm:  “Yeah, June is busting out all over!” Then I chimed in “Everything’s coming up roses . . .”

What followed was a laugh-riot-free-for-all that resulted in a playful  challenge to coaches to pick a show tune (or other piece of popular music) to inspire a thought to share with our readers.

It was hard to narrow the field — there are so many gems to choose from! (Gasp! How can we leave out the “getting tasks done” wisdom of the venerable Mary Poppins)? But we persevered and the “Coaches Broadway & Beyond Revue” was born.

Creating like this is not an uncommon experience for us. We love to co-create. We love to play. Our neighbors at the Champlain Mill often comment that they wonder what we are up to every Tuesday morning as our laughter rings through the hallway. And sometimes, our singing, too.

In fact, at one notable meeting, the group decided that the person who arrived latest to the meeting had to sing her check-in (each week we share a bit about what we are up to). Well, of course, I was the last to arrive. And to everyone’s surprise (if not delight), I jumped right in and captured the essence of my check-in with a tune. Bravely, I might add. This was one of only a small handful of times I’ve actually sung solo in public — I confess I am a little disappointed this did not become a standard part of our meeting — I’m usually running a bit late, and just so I’m prepared, I’ve got my next song all ready. I’ve even been practicing!…But I digress…

It often makes me wonder just what is it exactly that gives rise to this shared creative abundance. What makes the creative sparks fly? Why is this environment (our weekly coach gathering) so particularly rich in both the fuel and the accelerant that launch the creative spark into a roaring flame? And can our experience be a guide for others? Read the rest of this entry »

By Kim Dubrul

Dolly Levi is on my mind a lot — having recently finished a run on the Flynn Center stage (with a wonderful Lyric Theatre cast and crew!) of Hello Dolly!

Though I love Broadway shows, Dolly’s story was not one I was familiar with.  I decided to watch the movie version with Barbra Streisand and Walter Matthau.  The songs in the movie version differ a little from the Broadway show, but the theme is still the same!  Very empowering and inspiring!  As a side note, I would recommend anyone who wants a little uplifting in their lives to rent and watch the movie right away!

One of the first songs in the movie is called Just Leave Everything to Me, sung by Dolly. Dolly shows herself as a person who is taking charge of her destiny and inspiring and helping others to do the same. She is not content to just watch life go by. As she describes herself in the song she has “always been a woman who arranges things…”  She goes on to describe a VAST array of talents and accomplishments, including pierced ears re-plugged and varicose veins reduced!!  She is busy arranging things for herself and for others.

Here are just a few wise lessons I learn from Dolly’s example: Read the rest of this entry »

By Deb Chisholm

The mud, slosh, and muck of March and April are behind us. As the reward for our perseverance, May is bursting forth inspiring awe and wonder!

It is truly striking. The bright light green of new buds, spreading up the hillsides, is a wonder that can be savored for only a few short days. Flowers begin blooming, and we are joyful, encouraged, and refreshed.  And, ahhh, the unadulterated pleasure of opening our windows, letting the springtime air fill our spaces. In Vermont, we particularly appreciate this change of season for its energy and optimism!

Despite all that they have been through, our daffodils’ smiles and bright “demeanor” persist. That is optimism! These bright flowers remind us to stay connected to motivating, pleasurable activities in our lives, and to focus our thinking on the positive — the wonderful possibilities in our work and in our lives.  Martin Seligman, Ph.D., author of the book, Learned Optimism, reassures even the most pessimistic among us, that, like the daffodils gracing our gardens,  we have an enduring capacity for hope and optimism.

As we individually “blossom,” we typically don’t do so in isolation. Like many of our spring bloomers (ie., clumps of daffodils, irises, tulips, etc.), we too flourish and find fulfillment in community with others.  We are nourished and fulfilled, in part, through philanthropic endeavors, and our giving of ourselves to others as we respond to the question: “How might I make a difference in a way that is important to me?”  We are empowered by acting on our passions in ways that have real impact. These experiences alter our growth, encourage our “blossoming,” and create powerful shifts in how we operate in the world.

So often our passions include our individual character strengths that are “of the heart:” zest, gratitude, hope and love (Chris Peterson, Primer of Positive Psychology). Think of all the parallels with our spring flowers in bloom!  Energy abounds, both above and below the surface. There is resolution of hope in every plant and its resplendent blossoms. Love is expressed in the relationship and balance of the varied flowers’ colors and complementary beauty. Gratitude is shown in the gentle bows of their stems in soft breezes. We are greatly empowered by our intentional acts of gratitude:

• sharing a note of gratitude with someone important to us
• writing a list of (at least 3) things that went well in a day (and why)
• writing a short story about a time you were at your best (then read that story every day for a week).

Our delightful spring blossoms survived the challenges of hard rains, even snow at times, fluctuating temperatures, and chilling winds. Likewise, in our journeys for fulfillment — in our quest to bloom — we face adversity and have to rely on persistence, hardiness, along with our drive to be our most authentic, real, powerful, beautiful selves.  Absorb May’s energy and thrive in being your most vibrant self!

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Deb Chisholm brings her wisdom about the world of education and her passionate commitment to learners of all kinds, to transforming the school experience. She works with leaders in education to foster the development of school based coaching cultures which realize the value of relationships, access and honor the wisdom and expertise of colleagues, and tap into the power of community.

By Susan Venman

Smoke rising from sugar shacks is one sure sign of spring in Vermont. It signals the production of the luscious liquid gold that drips enticingly from short stacks. I remember as a child waiting for the local farmer to dip the boiling syrup from the vat and hand me the dripping ladle. I can still smell the rich, sticky sweetness and feel my impatience as I blew on the syrup to cool it down. That first taste of spring’s harvest is pure magic: A tonic like no other.

Before being boiled into perfection, sap is the maple’s lifeblood, carrying nutrients from the ground up through the trunk to every branch. Without it the maple is deadwood.

When you tap into your own core, what do you find? What subtle flavors flow from your being? If you boil down that sap, what sweet syrup would you pour into this life? An unbounded creativity? A calm ability to heal? A ferocious demand for justice and peace?

Mary Oliver asks, “What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Your strengths, the sap tapped from your inner core, are guides to charting a course through “your one wild and precious life.” They energize, revitalize and clarify who you are, giving shape and sturdiness to your work in the world.

Unfortunately, most of us learned to compensate for our limitations rather than build upon our strengths. In our schooling, for example, when you brought home your report card, did your parents focus on the A’s and B’s or that one, lone, ugly D? So often we tell ourselves, “If I could only be better at ___, I’d be successful!”  or, “I’ll just keep trying harder.” But can you imagine a maple tree refusing to give sap because it couldn’t produce ketchup?

Building upon inborn strengths is an investment that will never fail you. Doing so creates a livelihood of security in uncertain times. While jobs come and go, your core strengths are with you for a lifetime and will only increase in value as you use them. They are the roots embedded deep into the earth which hold the tree secure: When the winds rise the tree may bend but not break.

There are many ways to discover your strengths. Look at the activities you are drawn to as well as those activities you avoid. Ask friends and relatives where they see you excel personally and professionally. Employ tools for identifying strengths, such as the VIA Signature Strengths assessment at AuthenticHappiness.org (you’ll find it under the engagement heading, about halfway down the page) and the Multiple Intelligences assessment at LiteracyWorks.org.

Tap into your core strengths by identifying peak moments: Times when you’d hit your stride; when life, while perhaps not easy, had a sense of flow or grace. A peak moment may have been as simple as a solo bike ride through the autumn leaves or a dawn paper route when you had the whole world to yourself. It might have been the editorship of the college newspaper where the hours were grueling but the sense of satisfaction was unbeatable. What made it memorable? What skills did you use? What challenges did you face? What problems did you solve?

Harvesting the essential qualities from these peak moments will help you identify what is missing in your current life and where to go looking for deeper satisfaction. Peak moments declare that a strength-based life allows us to live passionately and fully present.

With a list of your unique strengths in hand, take a magnifying glass to your work.  Begin to see how and where your curiosity, humor, ability to mediate, collaboration, and love of nature show up. What talents are you expressing, and how often are you expressing them? If you could have more ___, how would that change how you feel about your work? How much energy are you wasting wishing you were what you’re not, rather than celebrating who you are?

If it turns out that you, like many people, are not fully expressing those qualities that bring you deep joy and contentment, then it’s time for a strengths overhaul.  In most cases, greater awareness and intention are enough to bring hidden strengths to the forefront. From there real and meaningful actions take place, leading to the changes you desire.  In other cases, more drastic measures, even a job change, are needed.

Just as it takes hours of boiling to transform sap from a slightly sweet watery liquid to an explosion of flavor, so it takes time and persistent attention to transform our inborn strengths into powerful tools for living. Choosing one strength to focus on is a great way to begin. Look at ways you currently express this strength, especially ways that may not be obvious. Then take time to imagine other ways this asset could be expressed. Have fun. Invite a friend or colleague to help out, reversing the “brainstorming” roles with each other. Think outside the box.

Next, commit to implementing one change a week. If bringing more collaboration into your work is your goal, examine what projects on your plate could better be accomplished by a team. If creativity is an essential quality that’s been missing, post reminders in key places that ask, “How can I do this task creatively?”  This is a great time to bring in a coach to help strategize, to remind you of your commitments and to cheer you on when the going gets tough.

You tap strengths from your inner core. You boil them down by consistently employing them, increasing their intensity and usefulness. And then you taste the sweetest reward of all: You pour out your abilities and talents onto a waiting world. What you have tapped from your inner core, refined through attention and persistent action, becomes an asset of great strength; one that will sustain and support you throughout your life; a steady stream of liquid gold to sweeten your life and the lives of those around you.  There’s a short stack out there waiting for the sweet syrup of your life.  Go forth and pour!

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Sue Venman is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach with a background in ministry, spiritual direction, and small business management. Through FocalPoint Coaching of Vermont, Sue guides individuals and groups as they clarify their purpose and passion and chart a course marked by increased efficiency, greater confidence and renewed enthusiasm.

By Kim DuBrul

Recently I was in a place of feeling a little overwhelmed by all of the “to-do’s” on my list. I was walking around feeling drained just by the thought of it all. Doing some self coaching, I was able to zero in on something really important. I realized that several of the tasks on my list had been on there for quite a while! These items, while important, were not urgent, so were easy to shuffle aside for quicker, more self gratifying items. I noticed that these tasks were things that really needed an uninterrupted block of my time and I had been unwilling to give them the time they needed and deserved to be done and done well. They were unfinished business.

Unfinished business drains your energy. These are things that are hanging over your head, giving you a heavy feeling- weighing heavily on your body, heart and soul. These can be projects that you started and never finished, promises you made to yourself and others and never followed through on, or projects/tasks that you have never started, but need to be done in order to avoid an unpleasant consequence- like doing your taxes. Maybe there is something that you need to say to someone and have been holding back, or a relationship that must be completed in some way.

Even when you think you are not focused on this unfinished business — it is always in the back of your mind. Having unfinished business in your life stops you from performing other tasks to your best ability and from enjoying your relationships and events in your life everyday to their fullest potential.

Getting rid of unfinished business, gains you clarity and a lightness to go forward toward your daily goals and aspirations. You will be able to re-gain clarity in your life.

Try this:

• Make a complete and honest list of any unfinished business in your life — yes, this may be stressful, as one client noted yesterday.
• Now, looking at your list, cross off anything you are truly no longer committed to.
• Take a good look at what is left and next to each one, write how much time you need to complete and the actions needed to do so.
• Where can you delegate, ask for help and accountability to move forward? The support is there if you look for it. This is one of the ways I really help my clients, as their coach.
• Next, take out your calendar. Starting TODAY schedule time to take care of these items starting with just one action in the most important area.
• Plan to finish over the next month, at the most, the idea being to dig right in and get these items complete and off your list as quickly as possible!

Begin to imagine how you will feel and look with all of these projects, tasks and intentions completed. Keep this picture and these feelings with you for strength when you start to go off track. These great positive feelings will propel you forward to a successful conclusion and a wonderful feeling of satisfaction. You will then have cleared the way to step up to your next big game!

I am now going off to follow my own advice! Anyone out there want to join me? How is this resonating for you? I would love to hear your thoughts!

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Kim DuBrul has been coaching great clients to reach their highest potential for over 8 years. She can be reached by email or by phoning 802-985-2482.

Are you a leader or manager who’d like to learn some coaching skills to make you more effective? The Coaching Center of Vermont, in collaboration with UVM’s Vermont Business Center, is offering a three day training on April 15-17th that will give you the skills you need along with a certificate from UVM and two CEU’s.  The training is limited to 12 participants so register early! For more information download the 2009 Business Coaching Professional Certificate Program Flyer.

By Sarah Gillen

Spring begins in March, right? C’mon, this is Vermont! Frost heaves, potholes, meteorological uncertainty. Will there be enough snow to sled on my daughter’s birthday, or will I have trouble making it through the mud to work? Are there enough wood pellets for the company heating system, or will the truck need an overhaul?

So much rumbling and lurching goes on this time of year. And yet, things seem to be revving up. Birds are returning, energy is stirring. Days seem lighter. Business leaders wonder if it’s time to invest in new products or hedge their bets. How do we deal with the slogging aspect of March when we  wish we could burst forth into sun and success?

These liminal, transitional times can be a drag, or they can be most creative. It depends on our point of view.  We can struggle and make them harder for ourselves, or we can explore the richness going on beneath the surface.

In nature, action is occurring behind the scenes. Roots have been growing all winter and are now interacting with bacteria to receive nourishment. Spores are developing. Stems and buds are building. Animals are mating and gestating. The same is true for our processes, whatever our goals. Transitional times are essential.

Change has been diagrammed by process observers like Prochaska. Creative processes have  detailed stages to go through as well. In both, our western society emphasizes the action steps and places less value on the rumination, gestation, exploration, and making-a-mess-to-find-new-information stages that come before action, because they don’t seem directly to produce a product. Musers may be labeled day-dreamers and told to get back to work. Mess-makers are told to clean up their offices. But, without the behind-the-scenes stages, there is no creation.

Take a potter, for example. After finishing a body of work, he can’t immediately jump into another. First he has to mull, and research, and experience with eyes open and closed, until he has new inspiration. Then he has to explore the inklings, try things, muddle, scatter materials, so that aspects can combine to expose possibilities he didn’t foresee. Then he has to check his supplies, order new ones, grind colors, mix slip, try out different clays. Then he has to lay out all the items he needs, fix his wheel. Only now is he ready to begin to throw a pot.

All these steps occur mostly in private. If you stopped by his studio looking for ceramics, you’d be disappointed at his “lack of progress.” If you could see into his internal process though, you’d  discover furious activity, just as there is in Nature during March.

In the same vein, business visionaries know that launching a new product takes more than making it and putting it on the shelves. All the musing and inspiration, market analysis, opportunity and competition analysis, financial effects and stresses computing,  R & D,  researching how it will fit with the company, cost analysis, finding producers and funding, designing, packaging, marketing strategies, staffing, and a thousand other factors must go on before the item ever sees the light of day.

These are the usual steps that an experienced executive knows. Yet there is another crucial facet to transitions. March has struggle in it. Even in other parts of the world, folks think that March winds roar “in like a lion and out like a lamb.” (They’d better count their blessings on the lamb part!) Where is the place in the creative process for the troubling winds, the mud, the uncertainty, the sliding into ditches, the trouble getting places, the tax prep, all the potholes of the season?

Transitions are marked practically always by upheaval – birth, death, birds flying south, beginning new projects, taking businesses to new levels. Transitions deal with the ending of one thing and the beginning of another. They have a tremendous amount going on during them, with much to be done to close out or start up each facet.

Transitions and creativity demand internal phases and external ones, a gathering in before a reaching out or moving forward. Muck and mire are not only inevitable, they are essential to the creation process. If we fight them, become too disgruntled and feel burdened, our path is more painful. If we can remember that they are inevitable and valuable, and we acquiesce a bit to the necessity of the slog, we’ll not only lower our stress levels, chances are we’ll engage with each task more easily and have more fruitful results.

Frost heaves in the road, in our business plans, in our lives, are invitations to slow down and appreciate what is percolating beneath the surface.

Try this: When a pothole shows up this month, whether it’s that your car breaks down, you haven’t filled out your tax form, or a manufacturer messes up an order, pat yourself on the back for all the growth you are undertaking. Take several deep breaths and slow down. Bring your awareness to your belly and your feet. Relax your arms, legs, neck and shoulders. Remind yourself that the roughness in the road is a sign that change is afoot, that you’re on the right track. See if you can look at the stumbling block with curiosity. How could you support your creative process if you approached it with a more open attitude? Then take the necessary steps to deal with it.

Support yourself during this time. Recognize that liminality is challenging and brings extra stress. Keep up with good nutrition and exercise habits. Get plenty of sleep. Spend time every day nourishing your soul with meditation, quiet, and interests that feed you.

If you have slowed a bit, you’ll be able to take a wider view. By the time May rolls around,  (here in our part of Vermont, April is pretty much like March.  Also, creative processes often take longer than we think they should, because they involve more than we anticipated, so aim beyond April) you will have laid more foundation for the successes that will bud in the Spring.  Remember that the road will smooth out eventually.

Now go play.

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Sarah Gillen focuses on coaching leaders and gifted people to achieve more, communicate more effectively, innovate more quickly, and build wealth by blending sound business savvy with a commitment to authenticity, values, Spirit, and the development of internal, energetic skills.