Coaching Center of Vermont Blog

By Lucy Gage Bogue

“We are human beings; we are not human doings,” writes James Flaherty in his book, Coaching: Evoking Excellence in Others. Sometimes this seems very difficult to remember, doesn’t it? It is so easy to get caught up in perpetual motion and forget to slow down, breathe deeply, and appreciate all that life has to offer.

August has always been a time of great anticipation for me—of the new school year, new possibilities, and renewed energy with the cooler weather (that is, of course, assuming that summer has actually arrived by this publishing date!). However, I also slightly dread the fuller schedules and sometimes overabundance of activities that come along with this season. It is so easy to get caught up in the doing, and forget to enjoy being fully present in my life.

Here’s a morning practice that I’ve tucked into my mornings that has increased the number of days in my life when I have felt fully present, aware, and alive.  During my morning quiet time, rather than thinking about all the many things on my to-do list, I now think about what I want and need from myself in order for it to be the best day possible. Upon awakening, I now ask myself, “How do I want to be today?” rather than “What do I need to do today?” I assess what my starting point is each morning, and decide how I need to be. Am I feeling tired, distracted, eager, or angry? Today, do I need patience, humor, persistence, joy, or perhaps lightness?

What a wonderful shift in attitude I have had toward my days since I have started this practice!  Both doing and being are important in life, but focusing on how I want to BE in life has produced more lasting change for me. It can for you, too!

____________________

A certified family coach, Lucy Gage Bogue works with the parents of gifted children and teens, to help increase their understanding of themselves and their children, identify what is most important within their families and their lives, and communicate better with family members and others in their lives. Lucy also has programs for gifted teens and gifted young adults that help them to better understand themselves, their own giftedness, and their own values and dreams.

By Marty Garrett

Imagine you’re on vacation in a beautiful spot. The weather is perfect, and your day is unscheduled. You have been looking forward to this for months, knowing you desperately need a break from your frantic routine. Eating your yummy breakfast outside in the warm sun, you begin to notice a nagging tension.  You realize your mind is running its usual stories; stories that prevent you from enjoying your breakfast and settling into the ease of the landscape.

Instead of taking some time to be with your chatter, you fight with it, giving yourself a hard time for not being relaxed. This makes the chatter louder and louder. Damn, it’s going to ruin my day. It shouts to you, “I should be more relaxed,” “why can’t I enjoy my vacation,” on and on and on, a familiar broken record.

Any change, even a positive one, takes adjusting to. During your first day of vacation, it takes time to slow down and let go of your daily routine. It’s important to honor this time and give yourself a break. The chatter is a signal to you, to slow down and pay attention.

Fighting with it never works. Instead, try the option of noticing your thoughts,
Breathing into them, feeling where they live in your body, and simply being with what is.

The sequence is:
Notice,
Allow,
Breathe,
And let go.

As you breathe gently, you may find that you have to sit with your discomfort for a while. You may decide to get up and go for a walk. You will find that your body begins to relax, your mind slows down, and you are able to be present in the moment and simply enjoy the pleasure of eating a well planned breakfast.

Being present in the moment allows you to experience the beauty of your surroundings. You allow yourself to really feel the warmth of the sun, and and to sink into the pace of a vacation day. A day that will unfold in surprising ways as you lean in to each moment, moment by moment.

_________________

Marty Garrett is a Life & Relationship Coach, working with individuals, couples, and parents to help them create extraordinary relationships with self, others, and the world

By Kim DuBrul

Waiting for the harvest takes patience! As we near the end of summer we enter a time of waiting. Waiting for new things to start. Waiting until the time is just right to harvest. Whether we are talking about actual crops, or a big idea to come to fruition, or a promotion, or getting results in an area we have been working in, or forming a relationship, or… (I could go on..),  if we decide to come face to face with the virtue of patience, we can make the process a lot less painful!

I encourage you to explore this word, patience, and how it might strengthen you in this time.  Though it’s opposite choice, “impatience” immediately evoked anxiety and unrestful feelings in me, I got curious about the specific meaning of the word “patience.”   This came about working with several clients in a short period of time who were all working with some level of patience and/or impatience.  I looked up the definition in my dictionary with each one — I had to read it word for word each time as it was so surprisingly powerful that I didn’t want to mess up the words!  Here’s what I found:  patience:  the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain without complaint, loss of temper or anger.  An ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance  when confronted with delay.  Quiet,  steady perseverance; even tempered care; diligence. Whew!  My clients and I were in each case blown away by the impact of those words.  So,  if when you are being impatient you are being the opposite of those things,  how is this effecting your outcome, and in many cases actually delaying the outcome you are wishing for and waiting for?

So, my advice this lazy summer month — yes, someone somewhere along the way called this month lazy in a positive way — see how you can cut yourself, others and projects a tiny bit of slack.  Notice how giving some space around things and your expectations can usher in some new and profound thoughts. Visualize yourself taking a deep breath and just relaxing…okay, now actually do it!  Enjoy the virtue of patience and all the peace that it can bring to your life in every area.

_________________

Kim DuBrul has been coaching successful people in their lives, both personal and business, for over 8 years.  She also helps athletes to put a stronger mindset to work for them that can take them to the next level.  She works with individuals, groups, and emcees for events with the bottom line  intention always being that everyone realizes their greatest potential and increases the enjoyment they have in their lives.